oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize