The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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