I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I bet he comes in French.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
is it fun? or sober?
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