I want to stick my p in your. b.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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