he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
