How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm just crazy horny about you
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
