Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
