hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
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The chlamydia really affected his face.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
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It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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