How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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