I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
