Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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