I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize