North Korea, Best Korea!
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize