normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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