Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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