This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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