Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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