Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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