she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
