Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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