I have demons in me.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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