My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
