What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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