girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
