She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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