so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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