Pappa wants mamma naked
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..