I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
