ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
