id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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