Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
the night ended with taco bell and tears
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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