No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
