Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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