Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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