i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize