Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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