he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
