For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
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"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
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Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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