This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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