I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
You smell like a Billy Joel song
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She's the barista slut.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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