so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
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on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
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We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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