I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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