i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
