Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
