she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
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