shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
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the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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