Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
