i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
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Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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