she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
