phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
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he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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