My first STD was from a foam party
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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