i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
