Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Randomize
