I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
True but thats because hes a fetus.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
