woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
whose ass print is on the piano?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
