It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
