No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize