You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
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