whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
