No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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