Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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